How do you cope with the pain?

Yesterday was a good day. I made my 05.45am start at work and managed to complete all of the heavy lifting and carrying involved in my role. I finished work at 11.45am and drove home.

In the time it took for me to finish work and drive the one and a half miles home it seemed that every fibre in my body had dried out. I could barely find the energy to open the car door! The pain in my lower back had intensified to a hot burning poker and not one but both elbows screamed in agony when I tried to bend them.

My daughter Emily had a dentist appointment at 2pm so I had to ready myself for that. I made myself a sandwich and took some cocodamol, which didn't touch it, somehow got changed out of my uniform and dressed for the rest of the day, by which time we were due to leave.

Emily chatted happily in the car, though I could tell she was nervous about her appointment - she tends to chatter a lot when she's nervous - anyway, her talking took my mind off the pain for me a little, though every gear changed pulled at the base of my spine and increased the pain in my left elbow.

The dentists appointment went well - though Emily has overcrowding issues and needs to have some milk teeth removed at her next visit - and we drove straight home. I decided not to make Emily do her afternoon lesson (we homeschool) because she'd done well at the dentists (and probably because I was in too much pain!) So we spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV and chatting about this and that, and laughing a lot - we do a lot of laughing, Emily and me!

Lesley (my wife) came home at 5.30 and it was time for me to cook our evening meal (which, being from Yorkshire, we correctly call 'tea') I rustled up my speciality - fish fingers, mashed potato and peas which always goes down well in our house and then I washed the pots - "dream husband" is what my wife calls me!!

And in all of it the pain never left my body. It never subsided or abated, it stayed a steady 8 out of 10. Every movement hurt, talking hurt, eating hurt, swallowing hurt. In the evening we'd chatted about Pepper our cat who sadly died on Wednesday morning, and we'd got upset a little thinking about how frail she'd become from the bouncy young cat we first met in 1997 - even crying had hurt.

The whole day, since finishing work, had been one long tortuous torrent of moderate agony. So how did I function? How did I manage to do the things I did when I was in so much pain? What part of me allowed me to get on with the tasks that had to be done?

The simple answer is "I don't know." I hear it so much - the words "You just have to get on with it" I've heard myself uttering those words, but I have no idea how. I simply can't describe what it is that makes me move and function when all I really want to do is curl up and wait for the pain to stop. Perhaps it's knowing that the pain will never stop. Perhaps it's because I've grown used to it.

Can you describe your coping mechanism?