Positivity In Pain - An Apology.

I have always considered myself to be a fairly positive person, but recently I've been having so many negative thoughts I'm beginning to think I'm turning into Victor Meldrew!

Over the years I've berated my mother in law for her negativity (a prime example would be me saying what a lovely day it is and her responding "Aye, but it won't last, it never does!") but on October 10th I reached a milestone - my fiftieth birthday. The big five-O. My half-century. And, all of a sudden, EVERY LITTLE THING IS GETTING ON MY NERVES! I have little interest in anything other than drinking tea (or Carlsburg) and watching TV. If I have to move out of my chair I do so like a petulent child. It will be no surpise to me if, tomorrow, I throw myself on the ground, thrashing and screaming, if I don't get my own way over the TV viewing for the night! I just feel like kicking-off like that, just once, to see what reaction I get.

It is fair to say, in my defense, I am in a great deal of pain, twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five days of the year, but I've been at this level of pain for approaching a full year now, with no relief, and prior to my fiftieth birthday I was placidly getting on with it, living as best I could and trying not to let it get me down. Come 'post fiftieth' and a switch must have been triggered. Miserable. Grumpy. Whiny. Moaning. Depressive. Negative. I just can't seem to help it. Minor irritations are now big irritations. My pain levels have gone through the roof, or at least it feels that way.

So, was it reaching fifty that triggered this depression, or was it suffering the pain for just too long? I can't even blame the medication because I don't take any of the prescribed stuff anymore - just paracetamol which has zero effect!! Either way, I'm in a deep depression at the moment and I just want to apologise to any readers out there for my negativity. I'm sure things will improve. In time. (I hope)

Just ignore me until I have something positive to say!

TENS Machine - Update

The 'Knight in Shining Plastic' I described recently (Back Pain - Sudden Worsening) - the one that arrived just as my back pain became unbearable after it seized up - has been working brilliantly. I've tried just about every mode, and program within each mode, and found the one(s) which help the most.

The unit works by stimulating nerves and muscles via a small electrical impulse. When on the sensation feels like mild 'pins and needles', a tingling or prickling feeling and, if turned up high enough it sometimes makes the muscles twitch. 

So far I've used it two or three times a day on my lower to mid back and, I have to say, it's an amazing piece of kit. I attach the electrodes to the points of my pain (in my case anywhere on my back will do) switch on and away I go. The relief is more or less instant as my pain gives way to the mild tingling and pulsing of the machine - I can increase the intensity of the stimulation with a press of a button depending on how bad my back is, and I tend to gradually reduce this over the course of an hour until I switch off the unit. Then comes the second of only two downsides to the machine - the pain returns within a few minutes of switching it off. (The first 'downside' is the icy coldness of the self adhesive electrode pads that you have to stick on your lower back!!)

But I can live with that. 

A couple, or even three hours a day with no pain is such an improvement on twelve years of 24 hour a day pain. The unit is portable so I can take it with me on trips out to finally 'enjoy' (?) a full shopping trip with my family, as opposed to grumbling and moaning to them after ten minutes of pushing the trolley! (Though I reserve the right to grumble and moan about shopping even if pain free!!)

I've also tried the unit on my hip pain with equally positive results - when on full blast I can walk upright, with no limping. I even managed to do a little 'Dad dance' around my living room with my Daughter. For the first time in years I felt like a normal father.

I know that it's early days, but based on the results so far my investment of fifty quid has been well worth it!  

As Coincidences Go - This Has To Be The Strangest..

Way back in 1989, whilst I was working as a quality auditor in a plastics injection moulding factory, I began to develop horrendous pain in my left foot whenever I walked. It only happened when I was at work and wearing the heavy workwear safety shoes I'd been supplied with, but over time it got worse and I visited the doctor as over the counter pain relief hadn't worked.

The doctor didn't have a clue so he referred me to a specialist who diagnosed Morton's Neuroma - a benign growth over a nerve ending between the third and fourth toes. Ultrasound and steroid injections didn't work - so I ended up having an operation to remove the nerve and growth. Some months later the pain returned - this time in my right foot. Another Morton's Neuroma - another operation and all was fine until 2001/2, when I started showing the symptoms of fibromyalgia and was eventually diagnosed in 2003.

This morning I found this article - Is Morton's Neuroma Linked to Fibromyalgia?   

Again - it's more common in women than in men - they blame high heels - though that was definitely not the cause for me! It was the work boots, honest!

Looks like I've been fibromyalgic for a lot longer than I thought!!