Your Stories - Fibro From a Partner's Perspective (Guest Post)

Fibromyalgia. It's a very difficult illness to deal with. I can say that in all honesty as I know the pain of fibromyalgia and all of the misery and suffering it, and its associated conditions, can bring. 

There are so many blogs about fibro, mine included, that are written by, and therefore from the perspective of, fibro sufferers. But what is it like to be a partner or carer of a fibromyalgia patient?

It's refreshing to find a blog that shares the story from a partner / carer's point of view. This is Tim Clevinger's story:

FIBROMYALGIA - It Affects Men Too - AS SEEN BY A HUSBAND / CARER -
 
"In February of 2006, we had our first child, Gabriel. My wife had to have an emergency induction, and he was born four weeks early. I knew this procedure would have a physical effect on her, but what came next, I knew would have longer lasting repercussions. We became pregnant with our second child six short months after Gabriel’s birth. 

The stress of having two young children within fifteen months was difficult to bear at times. We were brand new parents to one child, and before we could even grasp parenting, we had a second child. 

At first I thought stress and sleep deprivation was causing her pain. I always assumed that time would heal, and she would return to be the active, stress-free person I grew to know and love. This was not the case. She was getting worse with no clear cause. 

Needless to say, it was an emotional time for us. She would have regular doctor’s appointments and they all told us the same thing, “Time will heal. Take medication.” This wasn’t an appropriate solution. She only had the option to take some over-the-counter medicine and rest which only subdued the pain, not relieve it.

Before long, we had our third and fourth children. I think the last pregnancy is what triggered her in a downward spiral. It wasn’t only just the pain that was taking its toll; it was also mood swings and depression. So many days I would come home from work to find her crying upstairs in our bedroom because of the pain. All I could do was hold her and reassure her. 

I couldn’t empathize with her pain. She resented me for that. What could I do? I felt helpless. I hated it. The person I love most in this world was being attacked and there was nothing I could do about it. 

The strongest person I’ve ever known is crying to me for help. Many nights I would cry while she slept; praying to a God I’m not sure exists in the hopes that someone or something will hear me. She does not know this until now.

I tried, and still try to help around the house more, and help out where I can. I like to think that my efforts make a difference, but her constant painful cringes and crying tell me otherwise.

In December 2012 she found a doctor that solidified the notion that this in fact was a condition. Finally!!! Now we have a plan, and we have a means of controlling it. Unfortunately there is no cure for chronic pain and fibromyalgia. I wish I could take the pain from her.

I know she’s strong enough to fight for her well-being. She can now take part in physical therapy, and she is always finding natural remedies and ways to manage her pain. 

The person she is today is a complete 180 from the person she was a year ago. Her mood swings are non-existent, and her depression is manageable. I know that if she can fight through this, then I can fight with her. I will never truly understand her pain. Helping her, and supporting her is the best that I can do. I can only hope that others that suffer with this physical affliction can find their strength. Every day my wife impresses me, and every day I admire and love her that much more for her strength."

So, you see, fibromyalgia affects everyone and sometimes it's very difficult for us patients to fully understand what our partners are going through, especially when all we can focus on is our own pain.

This "Your Stories" feature is reproduced with kind permission from an orginal post by Brandi Clevinger on her blog Being Fibro Mom  and was also shared as part of FibroFiday at Fibro Blogger Directory
If you care for a fibromyalgia sufferer you can share your perspective too - just click here.