There's something quite upsetting, yet enlightening, about leaving a blog for so long.
When you finally pluck up the courage to go back and have a look at how you were (in my case way back in February 2017) you sometimes see the reason for the lack of blogging.
Today, as I was at a loose end for the first time in months, I thought "I know! I'll catch up with the Fibro Blog!" When I logged in to the account and re-read the last post from February, I saw some hope. Hope that I might be able to persuade my readers that I had finally turned a corner, that my pain levels were now manageable, I wasn't depressed, my life was back on track...
But it isn't.
And this has, somehow, led me to the conclusion that it never will be. My life now is my life tomorrow, and the day after, and the week after that. My life is going to stay the same from now until I die.
What strikes me is this: My life will stay the same, but my attitude to it will fluctuate.
I'll have good days and bad days. I'll have days with lots of pain and days with limited pain.
I'll never have a day when I don't have pain, in one form or another - be it emotional or physical.
What I will have is days where I can handle the emotional and physical pain and days where I can't.
I just have to recognise the good days and the bad days and live my life accordingly - without getting depressed about how things are because I know that, although today might be a bad day, tomorrow could be fantastic!
