So Sick of My Hat of Many Rocks.

Banging My Head on a Brick Wall

I've been relatively quiet of late for fear of boring readers with all that ails me, but I just feel the need to vent my spleen one last time before undergoing a transformation (hopefully.)

I have had pain, ranging from excruciating to agony to severe to livable, twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five/six days, for over thirteen years. Can you imagine that? If not try to imagine the pain you might feel if you were to wear a hat with a bunch of two pound sharp rocks dangling from it on varying lengths of rope - all strategically placed to bash into various points in your back, neck, shoulders, thighs, guts, knees, ankles, feet, arms, hands, wrists, fingers and toes as you move around - some days individually, some days all together at the same time but at different intensities - some pounding into you, others niggling, others constantly embedded on a pressure point. Now imagine trying to function normally with all those rocks hitting you throughout the day, then imagine going to bed physically beaten and exhausted but being unable to sleep soundly because you're still wearing your rock hat and, no matter how you position yourself, there's a rock digging into you somewhere on your body. Just imagine that hat, and while you're imagining that hat imagine also being bombarded by an additional, bigger and sharper rock straight into your stomach and intestines causing them to cramp, become sore and irritated and giving you horrendous diarrhoea, nausea, painful trapped wind, bloating, constipation. Imagine having to live with those rocks for just a short period - say, a month. Do you think you might go a little off the rails? Become depressed, anxious? You'd kill for a cure wouldn't you? Well. that's me for the past thirteen years. I'm not saying it's that intense every day but I kid you not when I say that I've been getting pounded by at least one of those rocks every day for thirteen years - sometimes the niggling ones, sometimes the two pound sharpies!

I've tried virtually every treatment known to man, have undergone more invasive tests than any person should have to endure, have taken pills and potions, tablets and lotions, with infinite hope and ultimate despair. I have had enough.

I don't want pity. God knows there are so many more people who've lived with it longer than me and who have it even worse than me - at least I can still work, albeit part time.

The time has come for a different approach. I have signed up to do something radical in a last ditch attempt to overcome fibromyalgia, crohn's disease / IBS, insomnia, anxiety and depression. I'll be writing more about this new radical approach in the coming weeks. It is going to take a monumental personal effort - and, no doubt, it's going to be unpleasant for a while, but I have to see it through to the end or fibromyalgia will be the end of me.

Hopefully I'll soon be able to remove my hat of many rocks. Wish me luck!!

Coping with Isolation

Often one of the worst aspects of having a chronic pain condition is the abject loneliness of it all. Old friends seem to drift away - unsure of how to deal with you anymore, or you've pushed them away because you fear having to explain what's wrong with you, again and again, doctors and other medical professional seem to wash their hands of you, having treated you (unsuccessfully) so many times, even family has difficulty seeing you in so much pain all of the time.

I know, from my own experiences how hard it is to come to terms with living in absolute agony all the time - that would be bad enough on its own, but to then be isolated because of it adds salt to the wounds. It's no wonder so many of us develop severe depression.

I've tried so many times to meet other people with similar / same conditions just to have someone to talk to about everything we have to contend with but, apart from making many 'friends' on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Google+, I've not yet met anyone from my local area of North Yorkshire. I know there are people with the condition in my area as my GP has told me he's seen many people with it, so where are they, and why aren't they forming a local support group or just meeting for a coffee and a mutual moan every so often???

Wouldn't it be lovely if there was a site where I could type my home city, town or county and be provided with a list of people in that locality who I could make friends with and meet up with occasionally, who I could ask for advice or support and discuss treatments / medications with, face to face, over a coffee? Well, unfortunately, there isn't any such site.

This is why I have decided to create one! FibroMates is my attempt to get as many people as possible to build a profile which can be used to inform visitors who you are, what you suffer from, how you deal with it and, more importantly, can be searched for by others in a similar situation and who live locally to you. FibroMates will endeavour to bring people together who can, if they wish, meet for a chat or talk on the phone. It's all designed to enable chronic pain survivors to feel less isolated in their conditions and to give them a local 'friend', outside of family or existing friend circles, who will understand what they're going through, without judging.

It's early days, but since I started asking my social media friends to start building profiles on the site we've generated a lot of interest - not only in the UK but everywhere from Arizona to the Netherlands. Everything about the site will be free - just create a profile. The more profiles built the bigger and better the site will be at bringing people together.

Looking To The Future.

Something turned up on my doorstep this morning. I'd been expecting it, but when it was actually delivered I began to get a little anxious.

The package has the potential to do one of two things: scare the living hell out of me, or enable me to relax for the next thirty or forty years (or however long God allows me to remain a part of this wonderful world of ours)

I'll be writing more about this delivery in the coming weeks, but for those who desperately want to know what it is here's a tantalising clue:

More to follow soon...........