Positivity In Pain - An Apology.

I have always considered myself to be a fairly positive person, but recently I've been having so many negative thoughts I'm beginning to think I'm turning into Victor Meldrew!

Over the years I've berated my mother in law for her negativity (a prime example would be me saying what a lovely day it is and her responding "Aye, but it won't last, it never does!") but on October 10th I reached a milestone - my fiftieth birthday. The big five-O. My half-century. And, all of a sudden, EVERY LITTLE THING IS GETTING ON MY NERVES! I have little interest in anything other than drinking tea (or Carlsburg) and watching TV. If I have to move out of my chair I do so like a petulent child. It will be no surpise to me if, tomorrow, I throw myself on the ground, thrashing and screaming, if I don't get my own way over the TV viewing for the night! I just feel like kicking-off like that, just once, to see what reaction I get.

It is fair to say, in my defense, I am in a great deal of pain, twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five days of the year, but I've been at this level of pain for approaching a full year now, with no relief, and prior to my fiftieth birthday I was placidly getting on with it, living as best I could and trying not to let it get me down. Come 'post fiftieth' and a switch must have been triggered. Miserable. Grumpy. Whiny. Moaning. Depressive. Negative. I just can't seem to help it. Minor irritations are now big irritations. My pain levels have gone through the roof, or at least it feels that way.

So, was it reaching fifty that triggered this depression, or was it suffering the pain for just too long? I can't even blame the medication because I don't take any of the prescribed stuff anymore - just paracetamol which has zero effect!! Either way, I'm in a deep depression at the moment and I just want to apologise to any readers out there for my negativity. I'm sure things will improve. In time. (I hope)

Just ignore me until I have something positive to say!

Welcome to H.M.P Fibromyalgia. You'll Never Leave.

Fibromyalgia is akin to a prison. Not a nice, open prison, or even a high security pampered lock-down with all the comforts of home. Oh no! Fibromyalgia is prison with hard labour. No chance of parole. No time off for good behaviour. No chance of ever regaining your freedom. Fibromyalgia is a lifer prison, with bells on!

HMP Fibromyalgia has everything you need to live a normal life, a lovely home, comfy furniture, nice surroundings, you even get to live with your family if you have one, you might even be allowed to work in a real job, for a while. In fact, from the outside, no one would ever know you had been convicted and sentenced to life. But, inside, it's a living nightmare, a daily (and nightly) walk through hell.

I was 'imprisoned' over twelve years ago, locked up by invisible, sadistic guards who seem to want to punish me for daring to dream of being pain-free, stabbing at my intestines, twisting my muscles and tendons to breaking point, forcing cotton-wool into my head, switching on my brain just when it wants to go to sleep, allowing me the strength to plan a family outing and then cruelly intensifying my pain levels on the day of the trip, or feeding me something which, ordinarily, does not upset my delicate gut lining - except on this occasion, denying me the very basic human right to be pain free and lead a 'normal' life. 

HMP Fibromyalgia is the most vile and terrifying of all prisons because it gives you the outward appearance of being free whilst surreptitiously removing all of your freedom.

The evil and sadistic invisible guards have the upper hand at all times. You never know they're there. You never know when they'll attack but attack they will, and it will be when you least expect it. This makes you anxious every day, and that anxiety never leaves you. You may be spared punishment for an hour, a day, a week or more, but the anxiety of an imminent attack never leaves you. This psychological torture, combined with constant pain, eventually breaks you and you become depressed - as I am now - adding yet another dimension to your life sentence in another wing of HMP Fibromyalgia.

Welcome to HMP Fibromyalgia - Depression Wing. We might let you leave one day.


Hang on, No, we won't.


Oh, alright then.


Nope, just kidding!.

Try The N:rem Sleep System - FOR FREE.

I've written recently about the fantastic benefits of a good night's sleep - something I hadn't had for most of my life, and certainly not since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia some thirteen years ago - and how I was offered the chance to partake in a free trial of the N:rem Comfort mattress topper. (Read my review here)

Usually there is a £10 fee to undertake a trial - but those wonderful people at N:rem Sleep Systems have given me TEN FREE TRIALS to give away to the first ten people to respond.

You will receive a selection of 5 foam comfort tablets to try on your current mattress, with a choice of set up so you receive maximum comfort and support. Simply choose the combination that is right for you and arrange the foam tablets you receive under your bottom sheet. If you’re not sure what your best set up will be, a member of the N:rem team is on the other end of the phone to offer expert set up advice and answer any questions you may have.Places are limited to just ten free trials and the trial will run on a first come first served basis.

After the trial period your toppers will be collected from you and there is absolutely no obligation to buy - but, after you've found your most comfortable night's sleep ever, I think you'll want to own a mattress or comfort topper from the N:rem range.

All you have to do is be one of the first ten people to complete the form on our website - here's the link:

FREE SLEEP TRIAL

Please be aware that this is a trial of the N:rem Comfort Topper system - the foam tablets you receive are a simplified version of the actual toppers for sale through the N:rem Site. You will not own the trial tablets and they will be collected from you when your trial is over. THE FREE TRIAL IS AVAILABLE TO UK RESIDENTS ONLY. We will only accept entries using the form on the FREE SLEEP TRIAL link above, all other entries will be deleted.

Only the first ten respondents will be allowed a free trial and there is a one per household rule. Duplicate entries will be removed. If you submit an entry and get the message "Sorry, we have allocated all of our free trials" it means that you have missed out on this occasion.

Please also be aware that, as a trial, you will not own the goods supplied to you and you MUST return them when collection is arranged. If you fail to give up the tablets you will be charged for the full cost of the five tablets - currently £20 per tablet plus packaging and delivery costs.